Dear Little One,

Today, as I ink down these words, marks the fifty-second year of my life—a tapestry woven with joy, struggle, resilience, and love. I’m taking a moment to whisper through the corridors of time to reach out to you, my younger self. There’s much to share, dear heart.

Acceptance: A Double-Edged Sword

I see you in the quiet corners of the church, eyes wide with wonder and faith brimming in your innocent heart. Know that the path ahead is rugged, strewn with both acceptance and prejudice, understanding and ignorance. Your devotion to Jesus will be your beacon, guiding you through the maze of life with a hope that flickers even in the bleakest of nights.

The love you’ll harbor for God will be both a shield and a sword. It will protect you and, at times, wound you as you navigate a space that struggles to accommodate the myriad ways in which God’s children love and live. You will find love, not in the soft hues of societal norms but in the vibrant, transcendent light of a love that knows no gender—a love you’ll share with a man who will become your sanctuary.

A Calling Realized Behind Bars

Your yearning to serve and your passion for Christ will coalesce into a calling to minister. But, little one, this calling won’t be heard amidst the solemn pews of a church or in the comforting words of scripture at home. Instead, it will resonate loudest within the cold, stark walls of a cell. It’s here, in a place seemingly devoid of hope, that your bond with Christ will be sealed, and your journey as a minister will commence. Such a profound realization in the most unexpected of places will redefine your understanding of grace, mercy, and redemption.

The Labyrinth of the Mind and the Healing Path Ahead

As you grow, your mind will dance to a rhythm unique, painting your world with colors unseen but felt deeply. Neurodivergence will weave its intricate patterns through your perceptions, and while this unique lens will enrich your experiences, it will also come with challenges.

Your mind will grapple with the tightening spirals of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The repetitive thoughts, the rituals—they will sometimes become overbearing, like a cacophony drowning out the world. And the shadows of your past will manifest as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), with memories echoing louder than present moments, pulling you back into times and spaces you wish to move on from.

However, little one, know this: While these struggles will be real, so will the healing. Therapy will become a beacon, a space where understanding meets introspection. Through sessions with professionals who understand the intricacies of the mind, you’ll find tools to navigate the complexities of OCD and PTSD. These sessions won’t offer a magic cure, but they will provide clarity, coping mechanisms, and a renewed sense of control over the labyrinth within.

And so, to the young heart reading this, with dreams in your eyes and faith in your soul, I urge you: Never give up. Embrace therapy, lean on your support systems, and know that every challenge, every tear, every moment of doubt, will shape the resilient, compassionate, and empowered person you are destined to become. The road will be winding, with its share of ascents and descents, but every step, every stumble, and every stride will be worth it. Keep faith, stay strong, and remember, the journey ahead, with all its intricacies, is yours to own and conquer.

Familial Ties: Lost and Found and Deepened

Estrangement will create voids in your heart, little one. Some branches of the family tree, those you once believed to be sturdy and unwavering, will weaken and break away, unable to bear the weight of your authentic self. Their absence will sting, a painful reminder that sometimes, blood ties can falter in the face of prejudice and misunderstanding.

However, even as some connections fray, others will surprise you by tightening their grasp. Certain family members will rise above societal conventions, choosing love and acceptance over prejudice. They will embrace you, not “in spite of” but “because of” who you are, seeing the depth, love, and grace in your journey. These allies, bound by blood, will become pillars of strength, echoing the support and acceptance that you’ll also find in your chosen family.

Your chosen family—a tapestry of souls woven together by shared experiences, mutual respect, and unconditional love—will become your sanctuary. Alongside the supportive members of your biological family, they will form a robust and comforting net around you. In their embrace, you’ll find affirmation, understanding, and a deep, unwavering love that will be your rock in tumultuous times.

Together, these threads of love, both born and chosen, will remind you that family is less about lineage and more about connection, understanding, and mutual respect. They’ll stand testament to the idea that while family begins with blood, it’s nurtured with love, understanding, and mutual respect.

Endurance, Exhaustion, and Expression

Though your spirit is steadfast, there will be days when you’ll tire—of the societal expectations, of the constant struggle to fit into boxes that were never meant for you, of fighting battles that seem unending. The weight of living authentically in a world that often demands conformity can be exhausting. But amidst this weariness, your soul will find solace in the rhythm and resonance of words.

Poetry will become your refuge, a sanctuary where emotions flow freely, crystallizing into verses that echo your journey, your struggles, and your triumphs. Every stanza will be a testament to your resilience, each line a defiance against the chains that society attempts to place upon you.

Your blog posts will serve as both a diary and a beacon, chronicling your experiences while illuminating the path for others in similar situations. The digital realm will amplify your voice, making it resonate with countless souls seeking validation, understanding, and hope.

Your love for academia will be another thread in the tapestry of your life. Drawn to the hallowed halls of schools and universities, you’ll immerse yourself in learning, not just as a means of personal growth, but as a tool to advocate for the marginalized. Armed with degrees and one day enrolling in a doctoral program, you’ll strive to dissect, understand, and challenge the structures that perpetuate inequality and discrimination. Your academic pursuits will be more than just letters after your name; they’ll be weapons in your arsenal, enabling you to advocate more effectively for those pushed to the peripheries.

Together, poetry, prose, and academia will become the trinity of your expression, enabling you to articulate, advocate, and act. Through them, you’ll channel your fatigue into purpose, transforming exhaustion into empowerment, and ensuring that your voice—and the voices of the marginalized you champion—will never be silenced.

Closing Words to My Younger Self

As you read this, with decades unfolding ahead of you, remember that every sunrise brings both promise and challenge. While the heteronormative society might seek to bind you, your faith and love will be your wings, allowing you to soar above, bearing witness to a panorama breathtaking and divine.

Hold onto your faith, love deeply, live authentically, and embrace the unexpected turns of life, for they mold and shape you in ways unimaginable. The fifty-two-year-old man writing this letter has faced torrents and tempests, yet he’s never lost sight of the horizon, where love, in all its forms, dances freely, unburdened and unchained.

With love and wisdom from the future,

Rev. Tim Powers-Reed aka WhovianPastor